I often read about the controversy of polygamy and the perspectives various people express. I just finished reading several pages of comments on the OWN network site in response to a couple episodes that were hosted by Lisa Ling. Lisa spent considerable time interviewing, filming, and editing these pieces. I was quite impressed with how fairly she covered the issues….However…..
I am consistently amazed at how vindictive and narrow minded people are. I have a question to ask those who judge this lifestyle so harshly. What should I believe? I’m considered to be misled, brainwashed, brainLESS, oppressed, a whore, chattel for the use of a man, bought and owned, etc..etc..etc. So what life do you want for me? What’s the BEST life can offer me because I want the BEST!
I can absolutely guarantee that I’ve searched, sorted, sifted, rethought, challenged, spoken my mind, and all in all, faced the plethora of issues and concerns that are continually raised in regards to this way of life. This religion is considered against everything that is humane, decent, moral, or right…and the biggest issue that people have with it isn’t that a man has more than one woman, but …that one person is “telling” another person what to believe, how they should live, etc. And through all these expression of concern and abhorrence I keep coming back to this…given the premise that no one has the right to counsel, direct, teach, or guide another through religion, how, in anyone’s right mind, does one consider him/herself more able and qualified to tell me what I should believe for my religion than I am.. or my parents were? or my grandparents…or community members… So, I’m brainwashed…Tell me WHO ISN’T brainwashed by the time they’re 5 years old? The reality is that we all are born into this world to a set of parents who bring us up according to their reality and ideals. All parents have beliefs, predispositions, idiosyncrasies, preferences, “programming” from THEIR parents, etc. that they pass on to their children. So tell me; what makes another’s upbringing more valid than mine? I am grateful to my parents for all the wonderful things they did for me. And guess what, I’ve had to sort through some crap they laid on me. I’ve had to decide what to keep and what to discard. I’ve had to come to the awareness of what I was taught versus what I choose to believe. Isn’t this what life is all about, for all of us? However we start out, whatever we grow up to be, each one of us is ultimately responsible for what we become. I have to establish what my values are. Because I choose to live in a plural union does not change this reality. If there are people who abuse others in the name of religion, that’s no more “right” than people who abuse others just because they’re selfish, mean, ill tempered, had a bad day, or whatever reason they may justify themselves with. I think some of the issues have been muddled. Religion isn’t at fault. Believing in a higher power, principles that produce good in ones life isn’t what is at fault. It’s the egotistical, selfish, mean, controlling desires and behaviors that exist everywhere on earth, in every nation, with every people, and every culture. It’s the choices of behavior that create evil among the children of the earth. So, I have children and teach them the things I’ve learned from life. And of course I’m going to teach my children about the things I most value, appreciate and love. Human beings have been going through this cycle of life that’s been going on for thousands of years. So remember, you’re human, I’m human, and we are all in this life on the same level..as human beings just struggling along trying to learn how to deal with this great big thing called LIFE. And before passing judgment, “walk a mile in my shoes”.