Relationships are interesting things. When I’m able to stand back and analyze in an objective way, the relationships I have, I learn some pretty profound things. One such profound shift I’ve come to by doing this is this:
…we humans naturally have expectations when we interact with each other. We develop our perspective of others based on our experience with them, but that experience is colored by our expectations, past life experiences, and our emotional scripting. When I allow (allow meaning…release expectation that a person will do what you expect them to do) someone I love to be just who they are instead of what I want them to be, the relationship becomes free of blame and failure and blossoms into something mutually satisfying. That’s truly an amazing lesson. Release expectation, love without strings attached..and see what comes back to you. However, the risk, which is clearly there, is that the other person will cease to love you..that’s real. But in the end, do they really? I don’t believe (in most situations) people cease loving each other, I believe they just cease their association with each other because they can’t deal with the pain of disappointed expectations.
That’s what breaking up is all about…disappointed expectations. So when relationships get tough..what do we humans naturally want to do? End the pain, the inconvenience, the stress, the failure to live up to certain expectations of the relationship. Going through difficulties with those you love is a given in life. What one choses to stand for while experiencing difficulty, ultimately, is what they will receive at the other end of the experience. I often ask myself, when I’m hurt, angry, disappointed, and disillusioned with someone I love, what love is. And I have come to the conclusion, again and again, that love is not about what another does for me but what I do, what I reciprocate, how I….LOVE, ..what I choose to do within that relationship in spite of what I think the other person is doing to me. I’ve made so many mistakes with people whom I deeply love. All I have is myself to look at in the mirror and realize I have to take fully on the chin, the out come of choices I’ve made.


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