One of the challenging things about living plural marriage is that you have to be able to develop the ability to encourage yourself. I’ve been so discouraged the past few months. I never seem to be able to get things right. And if I’m so converted, why do I always have the doubts (sometimes terrible doubts) and internal conflict to deal with? Who do I think I am that I can rise above what I innately am? CAN I even accomplish this ever present task? Can I survive the daily rub of living with people that I so often feel are foreign to me? Can I really overcome my own selfish desires to put others needs as important as my own needs?..and truly, deeply, derive happiness from that? I struggle..I struggle..and so often I feel like I’m losing ground.