Jealousy

I’ve had many people ask me how women deal with jealousy with their husband being with other wives. You have to first understand that, if you’re a woman who has a particular difficult time with jealousy, it can be a terribly difficult journey to learn how to deal in an effective way with the emotions and dynamics of it. Learning how to allow (in your feelings) your husband to be with other wives (not other women who aren’t his wives..that’s a very different thing)..but learning how to live together with the other wives of your husband, takes every bit of courage, conviction of the principle, and self discipline you can muster. This principle is designed to bring dignity to those who choose to live it. When I see those women who have mastered, to a great degree, living this way of life, I have the greatest amount respect, admiration, and love for them. And one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is how to respect those I live the closest with ..truly respect them and the variety of abilities we all “bring to the table”. When you begin to value people for who they are and what they have to give, you can begin to master the emotions and ups & downs of jealousy.
…..and as I’ve traveled this journey..dealing with jealousy in plural marriage…
… something I’ve found I can always do is… to think of the other person’s right to have happiness, love, and acceptance. And I think of how God expects me to personify him and his son (Jesus Christ) through my actions (to ALL his children, my brothers and sisters of the world..to extend it out to it’s widest scope…) regardless of how I feel that person is treating me…or might treat me…or in reality WILL treat me. And I’ve found that **sacrificing my feelings is an opportunity to love that other person..and to know that my actions have love at the foundation takes the sting out of being vulnerable, hurt, and afraid of how another woman in your husband’s life can affect your relationship. It makes me strong and confident that I’m loving those around me like our brother, Jesus Christ, has taught us to do.

**See terms and definitions on “About” page

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One of the challenging things about living plural marriage is that you have to be able to develop the ability to encourage yourself. I’ve been so discouraged the past few months. I never seem to be able to get things right. And if I’m so converted, why do I always have the doubts (sometimes terrible doubts) and internal conflict to deal with? Who do I think I am that I can rise above what I innately am? CAN I even accomplish this ever present task? Can I survive the daily rub of living with people that I so often feel are foreign to me? Can I really overcome my own selfish desires to put others needs as important as my own needs?..and truly, deeply, derive happiness from that? I struggle..I struggle..and so often I feel like I’m losing ground.