Vegas baby..

I was able to spend a few days with an old friend in Vegas.. We have the kind of relationship that no matter how much time passes, we pick up where we left off. I felt so loved, accepted, and validate. I’ve almost forgotten what that feels like. I had such a GREAT time. We laughed a lot. In fact, I haven’t laughed, talked, and just “hung out” like that for years. I came home so refreshed and reconnected with myself. And it helped me see how the demands of my life suck away my life.
Plural life is demanding. Maintaining relationships within this kind of family organization is highly challenging. Maintaining myself…and my mode of behavior is highly challenging. It’s a very complex situation. I feel challenged every day to maintain the standards I’ve set for myself in how I interact and treat those I live with. I’ve learned that if I can be “transparent” in my motivations…or in other words, have motivations that stem from love instead of selfishness, ….then I’m able to walk through my day with confidence that I can deal with whatever life throws at me. You see, I’ve come to understand that I can’t determine what another person SHOULD do. Nor can I control what another person WILL do. All I can do is chose what I will do with the choices that are there for me to make. With this focus, the responsibility of action rests fully on me and the consequences are all mine to accept. In understanding this and deciding to live my life with this focus as much as I possibly can, I’ve learned that there’s not the “back door” I can escape through when things get tough. In the end, if I can’t take full responsibility for myself, I’ll never learn what I’m here to learn. Yeah, it’s the more difficult way to take but in the end, my faith is that I will develop into a person with great compassion, love, understanding, tenacity, and patience.

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