So the get together went well last night. Everyone is excited about the party next Monday. We drew for cooking teams, 4 teams in all, and I ended up on a team with my husband. Wife #2 was upset because she didn’t get on husband’s team and started bitching. I immediately offered to trade her. She really REALLY wanted to take me up on my offer, but between the social pressure she felt that she shouldn’t be reacting that way…and after Wife #3 expressed how she DIDN’T want to be on husband’s team and how much more fun they’d have NOT being on his team, Wife #2 did a 180 degree about face and refused my offer. Which of course, she felt, exonerated herself..(and of course the cynical voice inside my head rolled her eyes and thought…”whatever”..) In the end, husband traded off the team I’m on to be on the team he wanted to be on… which was fine with me. I wasn’t looking forward to arguing with him about how to do our team’s part of the dinner party. 🙂 Looks like everyone, in the end, is satisfied with the out come and looking forward to the activity. 😀
Okay, I thought I’d do a personality sketch of the adults in our family, so here goes…
Husband: a family man, really great dad, intelligent, good provider, consciencious of his family duties, can be tender and loving when the mood strikes him, but lives inside his head so much that he’s often preoccupied, used to be a bit of a romantic, thinks he’s always logical in his thinking but he’s not, DOES make emotional decisions more often than he’s willing to admit, has a great sense of humor, is a force to be reckoned with, works hard, is business savvy, is respected by those who are his friends and deeply resented by those who don’t like him, he’s the kind of guy that people either love or hate ..no neutrality about him, very generous with his time and means, has depth of character, integrity, honesty, is a true friend, and very tender on the inside which he hides very well because most people think of him as a tough, hard lined guy (which he can be, by the way).
Wife #2: hard worker, loves the kids, is a good cook, is very stubborn, very agressive but covers it with quietness, has tons of pride, really messy, does many kind things for those around her, is a little “socially backward”, has a BIG heart, has a difficult time with the discipline of the kids because she has such a soft spot for them, her moto is “act” which sometimes means she doesn’t think things through completely, can be jealous and selfish at times, doesn’t have expansive thinking practices, often plays a martyr, doesn’t have any problem having babies ;), determined and intense about the things she values, has a difficult time being tied to the mundane daily routines of domestic life which is a challenge for her because she is the “home” mom, has a bit of handy man talent, has a quirky sense of humor, and is a friend to me.
Wife #3: attractive, good organizer, great mother to her children, very clean, really creative, moody, a bit territorial with her things, children, and information about her life, thinks she’s a better communicator than she really is, has a huge ego, can be really shitty and doesn’t appear to feel bad about being that way, can be very generous, has a great sense of humor, can be a good friend to those she thinks worthy of her friendship, doesn’t easily trust, has a very small circle of people she enjoys as friends, isn’t warm and accepting of people in general, is very talented with the domestic scene, is a great shopper (husband bites his nails down to the nub whenever her and I shop together because he knows we’ll come home “loaded” but I swear, the universe brings her irresistible deals!!) is a good cook, enjoyable to talk to, and after years of working on our relationship, I consider her a good friend and have grown to love her.
With that said, let me just state that I understand that I can’t possibly capture in a few paragraphs the essence of these people…and that these words are my own opinion, based on my experience, of them. When you live as close as we live in plural marriage, you get to know all the wonderful things, as well as the ugly, frustrating things about each other. There’s been many times I’ve been disillusioned and discourage. But, even if I were to break away from them, they would never be totally extrocated from myself. This is the nature of bonds that people form when they believe these bonds will last forever. It is this forward, progressive view, that allows me to remain and keep working to be a better person, and strive for the “greater good”.
I’m off again..more baking and candy making.