My Two Cents

On e e cummings

more4one — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 23:10:17 +0000

Oooooh the depth of words..

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
~e e cummings

more4one — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 17:20:07 +0000

My Grandmother on my mother’s side just passed away. She’s 98..which is plenty long to live so I’m not sad for her and it’s no tragedy she’s gone. But, I don’t like these changes…people who have been a constant presence throughout my whole life leaving now. It reminds me of the fast pace of time and that I have to grow up a bit more which at the moment, I feel very inept to take on.

The wonderful qualities she left for me? A legacy of steadfastness and final rectitude. She loved the principle of plural marriage and always expressed her support of it and her love for the principle of it. She was a beautiful woman..tough as nails, independent, fiercely staunch in what she felt was right and truth. I love her and will miss her influence in this sometimes drab existence.

more4one — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 17:00:07 +0000

My family did an interview on polygamy a few years ago which has been posted on the internet. I’ve had several friends send me the link…which I’ve seen many times. Yesterday another friend sent me the link so I (again) followed the link. However, this time, I read the myriad of comments posted there. (Don’t know why I never read them before) BUT… Bad Idea. There was very little good said and a LOT of very negative comments posted. Many of the comments were extremely harsh. I was at first angry and then sickened as I was reading through the comments. I even contemplated leaving my own rebuttal among the plethora but quickly realized that the emotions being expressed were those of hatred, prejudice, and complete ignorance about the life style of plural marriage.
What was disconcerting was that we (our personal family as well as polygamists in general) were being talked about as though we were the worst possible human beings. And I was asking myself why I was even allowing such stink and ignorance make me feel so accosted. On several comments, I was called a whore. The word “brainwashed” was used freely…and “uneducated”.. as well as other expletives I don’t care to repeat. Why would one human being be so small minded about another human being who they’ve never met, let alone interacted with, and why would a human being make a judgment of another human being based on his/her religious choice? And what makes one human being better than another human being just because they happen to have views in line with “popular belief”?

more4one — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:38:34 +0000

I get along without you very well
Of course I do
Except when soft rains fall
And drip from leaves, then I recall
The thrill of being sheltered in your arms
Of course, I do
But I get along without you very well

I’ve forgotten you just like I should
Of course I have
Except to hear your name
Or someone’s laugh that is the same
But I’ve forgotten you just like I should

What a guy, what a fool am I
To think my breaking heart could kid the moon
What’s in store? Should I phone once more?
No, it’s best that I stick to my tune

I get along without you very well
Of course I do
Except perhaps in spring
But I should never think of spring
For that would surely break my heart in two

more4one — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 23:26:50 +0000

I’m so excited that the Thanksgiving Holiday is here! And I have no idea why since, starting tonight, I’ll be baking pies for the next day and a half and by the time Thanksgiving dinner is over Thursday evening I’ll be utterly exhausted. But, I’m really happy to be wishing all of you out there who happen to read this a wonderful, warm, family filled Thanksgiving. Bon Appitit!

more4one — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 23:53:07 +0000

Haven’t written here for awhile. What’s been goin’ on with me?

We’ve had a wonderful fall but now, mother nature is saying it’s time remind us that winter is on it’s way. Last week, we got heavy rains, wind, and cold. Your typical fall weather…beautiful, but really chilly. After that, a few days of really warm weather…then a cooooooold snap. The high for today will be 48º F and the low will be around 28º F.

I’ve been walking to work every day. I decided at the beginning of the summer I would begin that and thought I’d just continue it until it got cold, but it’s been so great, I’m still walking. I love it. It gives me a few minutes of fresh air, sun, and quiet contemplation every day before I start my work.

Thanksgiving Holiday is coming up. We’re a couple weeks out and at home, we’re getting the house ready. We always do a “spring cleaning” at this time of year. Each one of us ladies take a portion of the home and clean every inch of it. It a great start to the holiday season. And it’s hubby’s best holiday of the year so we always make it very formal. This year he invited a sister and her husband to dinner..and one of his brothers family. We’ll have a crowd. But hopefully that means some of the baking and cooking I can offload.

We have 5 teenagers now. Our home is smaller, just because of the bulk their adult bodies take up. It’s amazing how teenagers change home life…and change you as a parent. You would think it would be easier to parent them, but it’s not. They’re becoming their own person… so as a parent you begin to interact with them as an adult. It makes the relationship more complex and then, you have to learn how to let go of them…allow them to make more and more of the major decisions for their life. My son will be 16 years old tomorrow. He’s turned into a very creative young man. He plays the piano and the guitar…writes poetry, is teaching himself how to compose music, writes his own lyrics, is playing in a band he created and found a mentor for…and is keeping up with his school. His music is a really positive outlet for him. He’s constantly working on some musical piece, and he just performed some of his poetry in a local poetry reading. I’m proud of him and happy to see him finding himself.

Well…I’m headed to my workout…don’t have time to write much more. Signing off for today.

more4one — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 20:08:18 +0000

So the cheesecake was a hit. I was quite delighted with the recipe and will make it again. The only problem (which was my own fault) was that when it fell, it pulled away from the crust. I don’t think it was supposed to do that. It’s supposed to fall dramatically, the recipe said, but not pull away from the sides. Anyway..the texture was very nice, the taste was very good, and the fresh strawberry topping I made complimented the cake deliciously.
As far as the food went..every thing was wonderful..including the beer.

more4one — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 21:44:00 +0000

I don’t know how the German cheese cake turned out. I’ll taste it tonight. But, I’ve never seen a cheese cake with the kind of texture this one has. It took me a LONG time to make and the baking, from start to finish was over two hours. It’s always a challenge making a recipe for the first time. There’s always things I don’t anticipate, even when I’ve read, and re-read the recipe.
…well…wish me luck!

more4one — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 22:16:54 +0000

Tomorrow night we’re getting together with a few friends for cooking, drinking beer, and eating german food. An “Octoberfest” so to speak. My part is to cook a German cheesecake, so tonight, that’s what I’ll be doing after my workout. I’ve never made a German cheesecake, only americanized versions such as the New York style cheese cake, pumpkin cheese cake..etc. So, I searched for recipes online and found what I think will be a really good recipe. An interesting tidbit is the cheese that’s used in the cake is called Quark..a soft, white german cheese. I’ve never heard of this cheese before so I searched it on Wikipedia. I can’t find it in this area…. (One of the disadvantages in rural USA)…so I have to substitute a farmers cheese such as chevre or a cream cheese. Anyway…so…I’m hoping I chose a good recipe. I guess I’ll find out tomorrow night when we eat it. So the whole menu will be german which I’m looking forward to. I love German food.
Takes me back to a bit of my early adulthood. …..There’s an Octoberfest I used to go to at a ski resort. My dad has had a timeshare there for years…it’s located in the mountains east of Salt Lake City. The Octoberfest begins this weekend every year. The autumn colors are in full flame as a back drop to authentic german food…german beer…live german music…and german dancing. My dad’s grandmother was from Germany so there’s some association there with the culture and people. I know it’s in my blood….and I had some fun times.
Bon Appetit!
(Yeah, I know..that’s french!)

more4one — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 18:37:35 +0000

Relationships are interesting things. When I’m able to stand back and analyze in an objective way, the relationships I have, I learn some pretty profound things. One such profound shift I’ve come to by doing this is this:
…we humans naturally have expectations when we interact with each other. We develop our perspective of others based on our experience with them, but that experience is colored by our expectations, past life experiences, and our emotional scripting. When I allow (allow meaning…release expectation that a person will do what you expect them to do) someone I love to be just who they are instead of what I want them to be, the relationship becomes free of blame and failure and blossoms into something mutually satisfying. That’s truly an amazing lesson. Release expectation, love without strings attached..and see what comes back to you. However, the risk, which is clearly there, is that the other person will cease to love you..that’s real. But in the end, do they really? I don’t believe (in most situations) people cease loving each other, I believe they just cease their association with each other because they can’t deal with the pain of disappointed expectations.
That’s what breaking up is all about…disappointed expectations. So when relationships get tough..what do we humans naturally want to do? End the pain, the inconvenience, the stress, the failure to live up to certain expectations of the relationship. Going through difficulties with those you love is a given in life. What one choses to stand for while experiencing difficulty, ultimately, is what they will receive at the other end of the experience. I often ask myself, when I’m hurt, angry, disappointed, and disillusioned with someone I love, what love is. And I have come to the conclusion, again and again, that love is not about what another does for me but what I do, what I reciprocate, how I….LOVE, ..what I choose to do within that relationship in spite of what I think the other person is doing to me. I’ve made so many mistakes with people whom I deeply love. All I have is myself to look at in the mirror and realize I have to take fully on the chin, the out come of choices I’ve made.